Script notes on the Gitmo debate May 28, 2009

Media: Stop repeating the assertion that the people being held in Gitmo are terrorists.  (It’s not your job to help them repeat it 62,400 times.)  They’re “suspects.”  Say it with me, suhs-pekts.  Switch it up, try using words like “alleged” or “accused.”  Just keep in mind that the same administration that told us they were all terrorists also told us Iraq had WMD’s, they had no idea who outed Valerie Plame, and the Earth is only 5,000 years old and we didn’t break it.  Until they get a trial, they’re called suspects.

Republicans: Stop pretending we’re all afraid of terrorists, the Taliban or al-Qaeda.   Maybe they scare the shit out of you, but some of us live in NYC, lived through 9/11, and know they can’t kill us all.  And you know what, having seen it with my own two eyes, having been out on the streets that day huddling around a cab with strangers just to hear some news, seeing what this city is made of, what the people I ride the subway with everyday are made of, I’m not worried.  And if there is a mastermind or twentieth hijacker down there, I still think he deserves a fair trial to prove it.  In this city at least, we know we’re strong enough to make it through future attacks, these wars and, yes, even trials.  The US has made an industry of locking people up for life, I think we can hold the folks you kept secure in Camp X-Ray, which you threw together in a couple of weeks.  Hell, bring them to Rikers here in NYC and let them experience the next one with us.  Maybe they’ll get a better feel for what they’re up against.

Democrats: Stop repeating everything the Republicans say and grow some spines.  (I feel like I give this script note to the Dems over and over…)

Actual liberals: Please stop saying that the US once lead the world in human rights unless you can show me when this magical time was.  Was it when we kept slaves?  When women couldn’t vote?  When our civil rights leaders and presidents kept getting gunned down?  When we locked up 1% of our populace?  When was it that we held this moral high ground?